WHEN EVERYTHING SUCKS

DEPRESSION

What a day. Picture a house during a snow storm and it has a big front porch area. Now that porch can hold only so much snow before the weight of it brings it all crashing down. Our lives are no different. The difference in people is what they do about the snow. Do they shovel it away, kick it, or the wait for it to melt? I find myself doing the latter two a lot of times. I might kick at it, or wait for it to go away. Honestly, if I wait for it to go away, that only allows time for more to build and then it becomes like a game of chasing your tail.

As each day goes by I find myself with less and less of any attachment to my community. I struggle finding motivation each day to go to work. The pay is garbage and when discussed, you are told how lucky you are to have a job doing our line of work in this economy. I wish I could argue. I have a strong dislike for each of my two next door neighbors, and am not too far away from having a melt down with my landlord.

There is so much truth to the above picture. How often do we say nothing is wrong when the better question might be what is right? I received a phone call from a friend earlier tonight, and as usual conversation goes, he asked how I was doing. I initially gave the typical response of everything being fine, not wanting to throw my frustration on him. How often are we on the other end of that? You ask how someone is doing and what you're really saying is hi. A lot of times I find people (myself included) really don't want someone to come to them throwing up all their problems.

Tonight was different. After saying everything was fine I quickly retracted my answer and fessed up saying my day was pretty crappy. I went into a few details but was cut short to find this call was really for me to listen to him vent about his bad day. We listened to each other and probably found some minor comfort realizing we were not alone in our misery.

Those "snow storms" will come and go. It's what we do with the in between time (clean up or preventative) that will prepare us for the next wave.